Specialising in the human experience of Living with prostate cancer – warts and all

The last roll of the dice?

with one comment

I might have thrown the last roll of the dice. 

It is 1.00 am and I am in dire distress with unrelenting chest pains.  The pain management regime is not working even with the supplementary breakthrough medications.  I expect to be hospitalised overnight if it does not ease as I will require infused morphine.  That is the last resort on the way out.

It has been an almighty battle approaching 4 years since diagnosis but I am inevitably losing the war.

I started this journey in the ignorance of the process of dying.  You may have heard me say, “I have never died before and don’t know how the process works”.  In the interim, I have watched on as others around me have passed away with terminal diseases.  What I have learned is that we each do it differently with varying degrees of comfort.  Both Kevin, across the road, and Dianne from Sydney both exited gracefully without this level of discomfort.  So, it seems that I will have to endure this personal agony until the big guns are used to help me finish my days.

In the meantime, it seems timely to say what I feel and to thank all those who have shared some of the ride through this blog – many of whom I had never met before this all began.  To each of you, I thank you for your empathy and I hope you may have shared in some of my learning experiences.  To those with beliefs that all you need is a positive mental attitude and the cancer will go away – and to those that keep reminding the me that “we are all going to die anyhow”,  I can only feel sorry for you in your ignorance.

Throughout the progress of the disease,  I have had the opportunity to better know and love my children and their families than if the disease was not diagnosed.  We all get so consumed in our daily life that we can easily overlook those most important to us.

The most important thing learned was to take responsibility and control of my treatment.  Doctors will tell you that the majority of patients leave all the decision making to them.  I was not one of these.  I needed to know as much about the disease and the available treatments so that I could make an informed decision as each hurdle was encountered.  A generation ago, when my father contracted prostate cancer, it was normal to believe that the doctors know everything, he diligently followed their advice and died within months where I have lasted four years instead of months.  This is the most important message I can give you.

Upon diagnosis of a terminal disease, you had better believe it.  Millions have died of this disease before you and more will contract it after you.  You can pray for a miracle and a very few recover in miraculous ways that defy medical knowledge and experience.  Alternate treatments are better described as supplementary treatments – each of which helps one person and not another.  I have explored and tried many of them with some degree of success.  The bottom line is that I am still now facing my last days – but would I have lasted this long without them?

The down side of all four traditional treatments for cancer – surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and hormone therapy damage the immune system yet the doctors offer nothing to help maintain it … the immune system is your only tool you have to fight these tumors.  In many cases, the doctors deliberately suppress the immune system so they can better control your internal workings.  For more than three years, I have been boosting my immune system with “Lactoferrin” capsules containing the building blocks of our babies developing a working immune system.  Search this blog to get more information published previously.

… to be continued if/when I am up to it


Written by Greg Naylor

13 March 2012 at 2:18 am

One Response

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  1. “to be continued if/when I am up to it”

    We all pray you are, Greg. But, from your email tonight, it seems the battle is indeed reaching the end … of an incredible journey. Good luck wherever you go now my friend.


    Ray Dixon

    20 March 2012 at 8:04 pm

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