GREG'S LEGACY

Specialising in the human experience of Living with prostate cancer – warts and all

What’s on around Wangaratta – 5 Dec 08

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The following information is reprinted from the 5th December edition of Cultural Capers listing Entertainment, Arts and Culture from Across the North East Region. More detail is available here

  • Northern Rivers End of Year Concert – 6 Dec
  • Life in Our Valley (Exhibition) 2 – 9 Dec
  • Dreaming (Art Exhibition) 4 Dec
  • Look @ Me (Art Exhibition) 5 Dec
  • Lavender Haze Experience – 6 Dec
  • Performing Arts Studies Auditions 1 – 14 Dec
  • Dwell and Exhibition About Where We Live – 20 Sept – Feb 09
  • Wangaratta Choristers Christmas Concerts – 3 – 10 Dec
  • The Relations of Fairy Pineapple Rings (Live Theatre) 5 – 13 Dec
  • NEMA Multicultural Buffet & Show – 6 Dec
  • Community Singing Leadership Training with Fay White – 6 Dec
  • KITE: MIke Brown and the Sydney Twelve (Exhibition) 6 Dec – 25 Jan
  • Ostinato Christmas Concert – 7 Dec
  • TxtArt – Youth Textile Group – 8 Dec
  • Bead and Bauble Workshops – Starting 9 DecOne Eyed Jacks – Live Music – 13 Dec
  • Rural City of Wangaratta Christmas Program – 13 & 20 Dec
  • Wangaratta Carols By Candlelight – 14 Dec
  • Moonlight Movie – New Year’s Eve Celebration – 31 Dec
  • Shepparton Art Festival – Call for 3D Artists – Closing 16 Jan
  • Summer Big Sing – 18 Jan
  • She…who discovers – Entries Close 21 Jan
  • 2009 Commonwealth Connections Arts Residency – Closing 1 Mar
  • The Churchie – Art Prize – Entries Close 31 March 2009
  • National Youth Self Portrait – Entries Close 30 April
  • The Met Opera Live in HD – Oct – May 09
  • Janet Holmes A Court – NAVA Grants – 15 Feb
  • Italian Heritage Exhibition – Calling for Contributions
  • Ostinato – Meets Every Tuesday
  • ArtPost – Artists Media Opportunity


HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
‘That’s right.’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true…)

I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, ‘I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.
Brunette, by the way!!

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’
Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency!’

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Written by Greg Naylor

5 December 2008 at 2:58 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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