GREG'S LEGACY

Specialising in the human experience of Living with prostate cancer – warts and all

Laughing with prostate cancer

with 10 comments


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Weekly update letter

Dear family and friends

You may not think so, but there is a funny side to prostate cancer.

The indignities of rectal examinations, the cathetars, the feminisation of hormone therapy, the loss of libido, and impotence are just a few of the insidious outcomes of being diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer.

The fun begins when the doctor puts on the rubber glove and tells you to tuck your knees under your chin. They say that most men have trouble with this rectal invasion and the thought actually deters some of them from presenting to the doctors surgery in the first place. In my research I came across this attempt at humor to educate such men.

Then there are the hot flushes. It amuses me that, when I strip to the waist to cool down, some woman will say, “Now you know what menopause is all about!” … I have no concept of menopause … but I do have some idea about dying. When was the last time you saw a menopausal woman strip to the waist with a hot flush? Now, that would be amusing!

The little boobies look cute and the regression of the testes takes one back to ones childhood. These days, when they itch, I scratch my throat.

Finally, I came across this web article that indicates that penis size is reduced by 2.2 inches in men with advanced prostate cancer. So, I guess I will just have to settle for a normal sized penis like the rest of the guys. Sorry girls!

Back in the trenches, this week has been a mixed bag. I overdid it at the weekend spending Saturday afternoon with the Blogging boys and Sunday afternoon at the Whitfield footy club’s ‘big effort’ raffle. I found a new limitation.

I slept all day on Monday and came unstuck on Tuesday morning with the most intense pain breakthrough that I have experienced. Gee, that morphine liquid comes in handy sometimes.

Next Monday, I have a review of pain management with the Palliative Care physician and on Tuesday I get the second hormone implant at the local doctors – with that needle as thick as a kebab skewer – to help me along the way to remission.

Regards
Greg

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Written by Greg Naylor

1 August 2008 at 9:15 pm

10 Responses

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  1. When was the last time you saw a menopausal woman strip to the waist with a hot flush?

    I can’t remember the last time I saw ANY woman stripped to the waist!

    (PS: This 2.2″ loss would be proportional to original size wouldn’t it?)

    raydixon

    2 August 2008 at 12:27 am

  2. I can’t remember the last time I saw ANY woman stripped to the waist!

    You are a sad case Ray.

    To some without prostate cancer, I guess the 2.2″ being proportional would be a valid question. Never a consideration in my case!

    To someone with advanced prostate cancer, the whole research is a nonsense as impotence is inevitable and one’s theme song is “Memories”.

    You will note that the research was measuring the ‘stretchability’ rather than the ‘extensibility’. 😉

    Greg Naylor

    2 August 2008 at 12:20 pm

  3. Stretchability? I just didn’t ‘go there’ Greg, stories about loss of length are too depressing. More depressing than being a Saints (or Collingwood) supporter eh?

    On that subject, next week’s C’wood-Saints game shapes as a mini-final now, doesn’t it. It was going to be a battle for 4th spot, now it’s a battle for who makes the 8 and who deasn’t. It’s a 50/50 proposition too in my opinion.

    raydixon

    2 August 2008 at 1:02 pm

  4. gah, you know I had my first (and only touch wood) rectal exam when I was eight for a suspected case of appendicitis.
    It wasn’t, but I’d rather have had an abdominal op than cop “the glove”.

    When she was done the (female) doctor says “well you’d make a lousy homosexual”.
    Did I mention that I was eight?

    True story.

    alburywodongaonline

    2 August 2008 at 2:36 pm

  5. Year Jack, but you didn’t tell us whether you did “… make a lousy homosexual” or not!

    Seeing how you are talking dirty, after surgery for hemorrhoids, my surgeon was bragging about what a great job he had done and suggested “This job would make you very popular on the Gay scene”. Maybe that is why I didn’t have a problem with it.

    Also a true story.

    Greg Naylor

    2 August 2008 at 3:18 pm

  6. It sounds like the “bum doctors” are a pretty sick lot. Been up too many bums I suppose.

    raydixon

    2 August 2008 at 8:31 pm

  7. I didn’t “make a homosexual” at all, lousy or otherwise, although, I have often felt like a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.

    alburywodongaonline

    3 August 2008 at 2:41 pm

  8. Yeah … I’m one of them too!

    Greg Naylor

    3 August 2008 at 3:01 pm

  9. a lesbian trapped in a man’s body

    Which is effectively a man who wants to have sex with women. Sounds pretty normal.

    raydixon

    3 August 2008 at 9:23 pm

  10. With the feminisation of the hormone therapy, I’m not sure whether I’m Arthur or Martha. 😉

    Greg Naylor

    3 August 2008 at 10:09 pm


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